Live and Learn

It doesn’t seem possible that it is fourteen years this month since Me Spot was born. The Me Spot you see today is exactly as I had envisioned it would be. The journey to get here was not! It has been quite a ride, the most exciting part of which has been the opportunity to learn….a lot. Those lessons go way beyond business. In this blog, I share the five that impacted me the most, and changed the way I live today.

Discomfort is there for a reason

On the surface of it, I had it all. A senior job in fashion in a reputable company and all the perks that went with it. I travelled the world, had a great social life, drove a fast car that cost more than my mortgage, and was lucky enough to be able to buy whatever I wanted. Yet I knew deep down it was not right.

The call for change can show up at the most inconvenient times. It is like an itch that niggles away at you, while you do your best to suppress it. It takes courage to stop and listen to the message, and even more to do something about it. Hard as it is to hear, there is a clear choice: carry on as usual and so remain compromised, or take action and be at peace with yourself.

Lesson: If you know something does not feel right, don’t ignore it. It is signposting you to something better ahead, if only you are willing to follow it.

All the best things lie outside the comfort zone

This is my favourite lesson and one that those whose work with me hear quite often! I now understand that if I am prepared to make the leap, all manner of exciting things happen that I otherwise would have missed out on. I would go so far as to say that the bigger the jump, the greater the rewards. Unfortunately the brain has different ideas.

Humans are hard-wired to avoid threats. At one time, our very survival depended on it. However these days, those instincts can very definitely work against us. The level of fear we feel when faced with changes to the status quo is usually not only unfounded, but also much more exaggerated than is necessary. It is simply the brain’s way of keeping us safe. Once you understand this, it is much easier to give it the slip.

Lesson: ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’. It is never too late.

Bonus lesson: It is said that we are the sum of the 5 people closest to us. Choose carefully. Watch out for those who ‘play it safe’ even though their intentions are well meaning. Surround yourself with people who understand the change you want to see, and will challenge you to make it happen.

Expect and enjoy the setbacks

Progress is never linear. I have seen many people, including me, take the first step towards a new goal, only to be met almost immediately with a setback which makes them question whether they are doing the right thing. Bumps in the road are not a sign that you are treading the wrong path, but rather they offer valuable lessons that will serve you well. They also build a key ingredient for success: resilience. I certainly needed it.

As I was about to launch the business, I was struck down with sciatica. It was so severe that I could not stand up for more than 30 seconds and had to eat in bed lying down. All my plans were put on hold for around 2 months until it improved.

Eventually the date was set. On 14th September 2011, I launched the first ever Me Spot class. I was excited to get started. My commercial instincts, finely tuned from years as a Buyer, knew that the world needed what Me Spot had to offer. I had organised the venue, hired a teacher, and bought the equipment. No-one showed up! I had completely underestimated the level of marketing that was required. It was pretty humiliating but it taught me a lot.

Lesson: embrace the challenges and rise to them. They are just as important as the success

Things are not what they seem

We each have our own version of  ‘reality’ which is shaped by our individual experiences. This in turn drives our perception of a situation or of others around us. On many occasions I have made assumptions that have caused me anguish and which were subsequently proven to be a long way from the truth. I also recognise now that our own insecurities can play a large part in this.

As an example, if someone chooses not to come back to a class after the first time of trying, there could be all sorts of reasons for that. It’s perfectly possible that none of them are to do with me. Even if they are, then everyone is entitled to their preferences and there’s not very much I can do about it. It is certainly not worth letting negative emotions take hold.

Lesson: don’t judge or make assumptions simply on the basis of what you see, there’s a very high chance you will be wrong. Observe and then let it go.

Be unapologetically you

I believe that knowing who you are and what you stand for goes a long way. (Side note: if that’s something you haven’t thought about for a while, it’s worth revisiting, especially as you go through different life stages.) Our natural instinct to ‘fit in’ and be ‘part of the tribe’ can often lead to compromises that are not worth making. Similarly we can get stuck in ‘roles’ that no longer feel comfortable or appropriate. Having the confidence to live according to your values leads to better decision making, and ultimately greater happiness.

Lesson: Authenticity is the only way forward.

The last fourteen years have been a rollercoaster ride. I never expected it to change the way I live my life in the way that it has. As a result, I am now a very different (some might say unrecognisable!) version of me. It has been an enriching and exhilarating journey that I am so happy to have experienced. Let’s see what the next fourteen bring!